Remembering Their Friendship
by Mad Hatter Usagi
Summary: Gilbert is sick and tired of feeling lost and alone, so he makes a choice. That choice is interrupted by an abrupt call from his secret love. PruHun


Gilbert sat in his apartment alone. He was on his couch, the one in front of the off television. The only sounds that could be heard was the constant noise from the city below, and the unnerving ticking of the analog clock on the wall. The exposed brick walls were cool to the touch and the wooden floor covered the whole apartment, except for the kitchen that had slate tiles.

He was sitting with his head in his hands, confused and so alone in the world. A loaded handgun lay on the coffee table, waiting for it's use. The trembling man looked up and took the gun, cradling it in his hands. Gilbert was sure this was the only way to forget about that girl, the one he was sure wouldn't return his affections. The one and only, Elizabeta Hedervary.

* * *

Elizabeta knelt on the floor of her new house. She was unpacking boxes, still moving in after a week of unpacking. Roderich had rehearsal for his orchestra, so he couldn't be there to help. She had moved into a house with him as they took the next step in their relationship. The house was a beautiful old Victorian with arches and white crown molding all over, even a turret was included.

She pulled open another box, not remembering what she had placed in this unmarked box. Inside were several old photo albums and scrapbooks, glitter and pictures of pulled faces decorated the fronts. She smiled and picked up the box, walking to the couch to go through her old albums and see how much had changed. She began flipping through the oldest, showing pictures of her and that man together, dirty and smiling as children. Her oldest friend, Gilbert Bielschmidt.

* * *

They each sifted through their various memories of them together, there were so many.

They had once taken pictures together when they were still babies. They remembered their parents/guardian telling them that the pictures had to be scrapped since the two wouldn't stop rolling around together. They had giggled at such behavior when they were younger, but now they were saddened by it. They had been so close, even as infants, but now they wouldn't see each other.

At day care a few years later, the two would play together daily. Other children weren't allowed in their games, and they refused to begin a game when any other child was withing ten feet. They played knights and royalty, cops and robbers, house, and wizards. They had squealed with laughter and tackled each other, or hugged each other tenderly, depending on the situation of their games.

In Pre-Kindergarten the two had insisted on staying together. They would go to the bathroom together and wait outside the door as the other went. They took naps side-by-side and held hands while sleeping. The two had even shared their animal crackers and pretzels.

In kindergarten the two had taken the new learning in stride. They practiced their ABC's together, reciting the song millions of times. They sang "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star". They recited Mother Goose rhymes and other poems together and helped each other when they forgot a part.

In First grade, the two were in separate classes. They still played on the play ground every day and ate together at lunch though. They exchanged pieces of their lunches and chattered endlessly about their other friends. Each tried to best the other in the jealousy game, but both came out upset that the other was playing with another. They acted like scorned lovers half the time.

In Second grade, they were reunited in a class, but kept their friends. Each day they played tag and hide-n-seek. They never tagged each other, always working in a team to corner another player so that one of them could tag someone "it". Elizabeta and Gilbert always hid together too, holding their hands over the others mouth to keep each other silent.

In Third, they avoided each other at school. Several children had teased them about the mysterious illness of "cooties". Whenever they were together, someone would scream, "Aaaah! Gil and Lizzy have cooties!" So when they got home, they'd give each other "cootie shots" and go about their play dates.

In Fourth grade, they became rather attached to cartoons. Going over to each other's houses to watch hours of television together was a regular occurence. Spongebob, Invader Zim, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Dexter's Laboratory, The Power Puff Girls, Samurai Jack, Pokémon, YugiOh!, Cow and Chicken, 2 Stupid Dogs, and more filled their living rooms as the two lay on the floor with pop corn and watched hours of cartoons. They simply enjoyed each other's company.

In Fifth grade, they joined sports. Gilbert joined a soccer team and Elizabeta joined a softball team. Each of their schedules were filled with games and practices, fundraisers and pictures. Whenever they could they watched each other's games, helped with fundraisers, or walked with each other to practice. They each shone in a way no other child on the team could, becoming the child version of an MVP.

Sixth grade brought different things to them. Hormones and puberty, strange feelings, and a new student. They each struggled through pubescent peculiarity as any other kid did, but Gilbert troubled himself with one thing in specific. He had fallen for his best friend. She however, was intrigued with the new student, Roderich Edelstein. Elizabeta obsessed about him and spoke of him often, while Gilbert remained silent about his crush.

Seventh grade introduced a strained friendship. Spats about how much she spoke of her crush and how insensitive he was with her erupted between them. She started dressing girlier and spending more time with the girl friends she had acquired while he brooded alone. He had other friends, but he hadn't trusted any to keep his secret, or console him. So, every day he walked to the park after school and sat on the swings alone, thinking about the girl he often fought with.

Eighth grade was terrible for their friendship. They got in a huge fight halfway through the school year that ended in tears reserved for the pillows at home and a slap. She had told Gilbert she planned to confess to Roderich, but wasn't sure when. Gilbert said she was acting ridiculous and different, and he didn't like the new her. She said that he was acting like a loner and really stupid, that he had no respect for her. He suggested angrily that they discard their friendship since they didn't like each other anymore, so she slapped him. Later, they both of them went home and cried themselves to sleep over it, but wouldn't reconcile out of sheer stubbornness.

Ninth grade crushed Gilbert's spirit completely. Elizabeta had confessed to Roderich over the summer, and they two were now a steady item. They flaunted their relationship obnoxiously in front of Gilbert, which broke his heart every day. But another thing happened. His grandfather abandoned him and his little brother. He left without a spoken word to them overnight, but a note on the kitchen table. He said that he couldn't stand the responsibility over children that his good-for-nothing daughter had had. Gilbert was left to take care of a toddler alone, but no one offered help or sympathy, even Elizabeta.

Tenth grade was the year when Gilbert wasn't there. Elizabeta and Roderich's relationship flourished a lot, each loving the other so much. She felt the presence of Gilbert was missing though, and he was mysteriously missing from school and town, his brother was staying with a family friend. Gilbert came back on holidays, not speaking to anyone. It was spread by the family friend that he had went to a military school on scholarship, just for a year though. He looked hard and different, his eyes had changed since he was a child.

In Eleventh grade, Elizabeta tried to reestablish their friendship. Gilbert would have none of it, he didn't want to tempt himself. So, he pushed her away whenever she was near and became friends with a pair named Francis and Antonio. The three became class clowns and the most desirable guys in school, all three were swamped by dates and girls (and some guys). Gilbert was still deep in depression though, but he refused to let anyone see it.

In their Senior Year, many things happened. Francis was called back to France by his mother and Antonio chased after a foreign exchange student that was much younger than him, a guy named Lovino. Elizabeta was voted Prom Queen, and Gilbert her King. They danced once, then separated and Gilbert wouldn't look at her for the rest of the dance. Roderich asked that Gilbert keep his distance from her, without her knowing, and Gilbert agreed solemnly.

After that, they had went to college for several years. Roderich and Elizabeta had broken up during that time since they had been accepted to colleges on different sides of the country, and wouldn't likely see each other. But as soon as the college years were over, they were together again in a heartbeat and had moved into a house in the suburban area outside a city. Gilbert had went to college in that city, and still lived there after getting a job in a large company.

They hadn't spoken since graduation, and neither made a move.

* * *

Gilbert felt the stinging at his eyes, and his heart dropped. He hated when he thought about her, it made him feel like living and dying at the same time, and it killed him slower than anyone can imagine. He wanted to get rid of that feeling, and he loved her too deeply to stop, so he chose death with open, albeit shaky, arms.

He thought of the little things they had done. Getting a kiss on the cheek when they were five, a thank you for a birthday present. Tearing up bed sheets to make white cloaks. Hoarding comic books in a tree house deep in the forest outside of town. fighting for the toy in a cereal box whenever they came over for breakfast. Laughing, almost maniacal, at the stupidest of jokes.

His heart burned for her, but he knew she wouldn't come. She already found a place for herself.

* * *

Elizabeta wiped away a few silent tears, they always came when she remembered gradually losing her dear friend. She missed him more than anyone would imagine, and that confused her feelings for Roderich profusely. She wasn't sure what she felt for the boy she had played with every day as a child. It was a jumbled mess of old and new emotions.

She remembered getting a bouquet of pretty tulips that he had dug up from his neighbor's garden one day out of the blue when they were nine. Trips to theme parks and water parks, running around with a sugar high and excess of adrenaline. Seeing him care for his brother like a doting father when he was back from military school. School field trips to old museums, monuments, and theaters. Sitting together on the bus every day throughout elementary school.

She remembered watching that boy she thought she had known go through abandonment, in more ways than one. Seeing him with a cold, blank look on the holidays back from military school. Catching a glimpse of the extreme loneliness and sadness when he thought he had everyone fooled. Hearing gossip about him with a multitude of girls, weekend after weekend. Walking in on him making out with some girl in a back hallway, almost like he was desperate to get something off his mind.

Elizabeta simply hadn't the ability to keep up with him. And that made her unbearably lonely. She wanted to see him, oh so bad. So she ran to dig out a phone book, found his phone number, and dialed.

It rang five times before picking up, "Hello?" His voice sounded wounded and empty.

"Gilbert," she exclaimed. "It's good to talk to you!"

"Liz?"

"Duh. Anyway, do you want to meet me for lunch?"

"No," he said, then hesitated. "Why?"

"Because I want to see you, that's why. We haven't talked in ages," Elizabeta responded.

"Well you might as well find someone else, I don't think I can make it."

"Do you have anything to do?"

"No, but-"

"Good," she cut him off. "I'll pick you up. Where do you live?"

He gave his address to her reluctantly, and she jotted it down on her end. Elizabeta dressed a bit better, then rushed from her house to pay him a visit.

* * *

"No, but-" He began to say.

"Good," Elizabeta said through the phone. "I'll pick you up. Where do you live?"

After giving his address to her reluctantly, she hung up.

Gilbert put the phone down and sighed, he had never been able to resist her for long. His body and mind longed for her indefinitely. Even though he knew he should, he never truly gave up on her. He pushed her away to save himself the pain, but he wished every morning and night that she would love him and save him from the daily hell of being without her.

He stood, looking around his filthy apartment. He hadn't picked up his junk in ages, since he had long since stopped caring. Quickly, Gilbert ran about the rooms cleaning and putting things away. After a while of cleaning, the apartment was clean enough.

A knock at his door caused him to jump, and he spun around to stare at the door. Another knock, three loud, consecutive bangs this time. She's impatient. Gilbert rolled his eyes, remembering hundreds, maybe thousands, of times where she had snapped at him for being late, or banged on his door like this, or had pulled him along when his feet simply couldn't run fast enough.

Opening the door, he saw her for the first time in years. Her pretty brown hair was tied up in a pony tail, a few stray locks fluttered to frame her face, and a pair of pink flowers were tucked behind her ear. Those beautiful emerald eyes he had seen vividly in dreams for so long were brighter than he remembered, but currently they were scowling with impatient fury. She was dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans, a girl's green v-neck shirt, a pair of brown leather boots that came almost all the way up her calves, and a brown leather jacket. She looked good to say the least.

"Why'd it take you so long to answer," she asked.

Gilbert let her in and took her jacket from her to hang it up on a coat rack. When he was away from her for just a few moments, she had walked into the living room and stood, staring at the coffee table.

"Gil, why do you have a gun?"

* * *

Elizabeta smiled softly as she walked from the foyer into the living room, Gilbert had brushed past her a moment before, saying something about making coffee. She glanced about the apartment, trying to see how he had been living, trying to grip some part of the past they had shared. It was a desperate try to see if he had missed her at all.

She frowned as she saw no pictures, albums, or reminders of anything they did together. No subtle hint of any past adventure. Nothing at all reminiscent. Not like her house. She insisted on cornflowers and tulips, their favorite flowers paired together, to be put in vases throughout the house. The albums would always stay in a place where she could get to them easily. Pictures of them as children dotted the house. It was obvious she tried to keep him with her.

Gilbert had no such thing. In fact, she saw parts of the apartment that had possible places to put parts of their past, but he had ignored it, almost purposefully in her opinion. Her heart sunk as she worried about whether he didn't actually like her at all. She realized her feelings in that very moment.

She loved him, and that hurt so much.

As her eyes swept over the room, she stopped at the coffee table. A handgun rested on the edge, it was cocked and supposedly loaded.

"Gil, why do you have a gun?" She asked, and the noise from the kitchen stopped abruptly.

She saw him rush out of the kitchen and grab the metal contraption quickly. He hid it behind his back like that would suddenly make it disappear. "What?"

"The gun. Why do you have one? This is a pretty safe neighborhood, you don't need something to protect yourself. What is it for?"

"Just in case, you know, I never use it," he said, his voice nervous.

Elizabeta grabbed his arm and wrenched it from behind his back, "Then why is it cocked and loaded?"

His mask fell. Shame, fear, and intense sadness creeped into his expression, one that she had never seen before. It hurt her to see such a face, so she took the gun and set it down, then took his arm and sat him down on the couch.

"What's wrong, Gil?"

"Nothing," he choked out.

"THIS isn't nothing, if it's what I think it is. Give me an answer."

He shook his head slowly, his eyes wouldn't meet hers.

"Gilbert, were you going to...kill yourself?" She asked quietly.

Slowly, he nodded.

"Why would you do that? Why would you even think of that? Gil...why didn't you talk to me?"

"Because you were with him, and you got upset when I didn't want to talk about him, or be around him! I couldn't stand it anymore," Gilbert exclaimed.

"Why do you even hate him so much? It's not like he's done anything to you!"

"Yes he has, he just didn't realize," Gilbert said quietly.

"What could he have possibly done that triggered such animosity for YEARS," Elizabeta yelled.

Gilbert looked up at her, straight in her eyes, "He took the most important person in the world from me. Dammit, Liz, I love you."

She gasped and put her hands to her mouth, "R-really?"

"Yeah, for a really long time. And I just can't take it when you're always gushing over him. It drove me nuts!"

She took a wary step forward, and another, then rushed to him. Elizabeta wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face into the crook of his neck, she let herself cry. "Then you don't have to worry about that. I'll never gush about him again.I'll never even speak his name again, if you don't want me to. Because I couldn't ever be happy again if you were dead. Because I love you too, Gil."

He wrapped his arms around her hips, pulling her closer. "Just don't leave me again."

"I promise not to, you're too awesome to," Elizabeta said, laughing


End file.
